Creating Spaces of Belonging in Jewish Life

Have you ever experienced a time when you didn’t feel included? Does this happen regularly? Or do you sometimes purposely exclude yourself from a group, saying “no” to invitations you could have said “yes” to? When we make decisions about where we want to be, who we spend time with, what yoga studio to attend, or what club to join, we are constantly navigating inclusive and exclusive decision-making.

At The Well, we think about inclusivity all the time. We were founded on the values of inclusion, innovation, and intentionality, striving to be a welcoming space where people can bring their whole selves to engage in something Jewish, feel seen through the experience, and connect with others. As we consider how to create inclusive spaces, we recognize the difference between being welcoming and being inclusive. This distinction is critical because it can make or break the answer to the question: “Do I belong here?”

A welcoming space lives or dies at the front door. There are best practices for creating an experience of openness and friendliness, from how people are greeted when they arrive to how they are guided to the next step or person to talk to. This is the window in which an event becomes welcoming—or not.

Inclusion, however, is about what happens after that initial welcome. It’s about removing barriers, addressing inequities, and embracing diversity. It’s about the intention put into an experience to make sure everyone feels they have a place. Inclusion ensures people are involved and valued during the event, leaving them with a lasting sense of connection. But here’s the twist: to move beyond creating welcoming and inclusive spaces toward fostering a true sense of belonging in Jewish life, we must adopt a bit of exclusivity. Belonging is a product of particularism and exclusivity—if you belong somewhere, by definition, there are places where you don’t belong. Right?

In my work with young adults, I’ve seen firsthand how the tension between inclusion and exclusion in creating Jewish spaces can be uncomfortable. Universalism, or the idea that we should be open to everyone and every set of values equally, is often comforting. Inclusivity invites everyone—no one person is valued over another. Particularism can feel uncomfortable—by creating a safe space of belonging for one group, we risk making that space feel unsafe for another. How can we build a community that holds both?

At The Well, we believe that to be Jewish is to embrace a particular identity—a specific set of traditions, customs, and beliefs. We also know that when you embrace the Jewish part of who you are, it can deepen your connections both to Judaism and to other Jews who may be very different from you. These are our building blocks: relationships built on universal values, shaped by our particular identities.

I often think back to my middle school days, when the question of belonging loomed large for me. I remember mapping out social circles, identifying those who straddled different groups. I didn’t just want to be part of one group—I wanted to connect with as many people as possible. At The Well, we help our participants and community members build similar connections. It’s not about fitting in everywhere but about fostering relationships across differences.

At The Well, we open our doors to everyone, curious about what makes each of us unique. This is how we build community. This is how we create spaces of belonging in Jewish life.